Frozen Dreams
by Eveilae
Summary: [KAKAOBIRIN] Shortish fic on the winter days that Team Yellow Flash spent together, showing just how blind and kind the young can be.


_I do not own Naruto._

I think this was one of the first KakaObiRin I wrote. Pretty old. Actually rewrote some of it in the FFN editor. (someone catch the Narnia reference. XD)

Frozen Dreams  
**challenge: **dreaming

I don't know what it was about winter. During the spring and the autumn and the summer we could stay apart, keep our distance, with the only exceptions the frequent times we fought. Even while we sparred, we would keep our distance, touching only when necessary, only when a dark bruise would blossom or sweet crimson blood would flow.

Perhaps it was because missions always slowed down during the winter. No one wanted to move around in the winter, not even our enemies. Things died in the winter, and it felt like nothing would ever be the same again. There was always that irrational fear that it would ever winter, but never Christmas.

So why did we find ourselves in your apartment, my fingers laced in your hair, her head laid against your chest in sleep? You were like a human icicle, with your cold attitude and silent insults, but our warmth would melt you, even if it was just a little. Each time we touched you, the shock of your cool skin would be less of a jolt.

You were always kinder to her, though, and I guess I'm not surprised. She was always kinder to you, too, and while I yelled at you, she'd whisper those healing words of hers and make you feel better. Or melt, whatever. Rin knew what would make you feel better instead of worse, what would smooth your brow and soothe your caustic mood.

I always fell behind in that aspect. All I could do was keep you warm by scuffling and kissing you desperately. It was usually enough.

Those times when I'd hear those hiccupping sobs spill from your lips, purple with cold, while you and Rin slept, I found I couldn't do a thing. I couldn't be tender, or bring a stiff, but sincere, smile to your face. So I'd just end up watching you through my eyelashes, staring into that usually stoic face, now warped into one of intense pain. When I couldn't stand it anymore, and I'd wrap an arm around your waist and use your shoulder as a pillow, pretending I didn't know.

Then when the sunlight was hitting through our eyelids, I'd never get up the courage to ask you why.

I couldn't ask Rin, either. She was such a heavy sleeper, and if she had heard him in the night, she would've mentioned it, I knew. I just couldn't stand more proof of how much _better_ she knew you. She'd know exactly how to fix you, while I would have once more been pushed to the side, forced to watch as she became more than me. It was as if in her eyes, you were a simple code, easy to translate for her. But whenever I looked at the complex symbols that made you up, I'd come up blank.

"Obito?" One afternoon we were sitting around in your living room one more, sipping on hot cocoa she'd made. She never was a particularly good cook, but her hot cocoa was always just right for the short winter days. Her dark eyes were examining me, I could tell, so I refused to meet them. I let my darker ones study the carpet, studying each inch with a useless intensity. Maybe she knew, and she hated me for keeping it from her.

"Yeah?" I grunted, forcing my cup between the two of us, tipping the scalding liquid onto my tongue.

"You look really tired. Did something keep your up last night?" How was it she knew everything instinctively? How could she have known that I hadn't been able to get to sleep? Even after your sobs had diminished, I hadn't been able to get much rest. In the moonlight I sat, my gaze steady on the going ons (or lack thereof) outside, through the window.

I'd seen a young woman meeting her girlfriend. I'd seen three cats doing their nocturnal dance, their tails wisping behind them as they strutted.

I'd seen a blonde boy, one that looked like our sensei. I'd seen a dark boy, with an expression like yours and eyes like mine. I'd seen a strong girl hidden under layers of a weak feminine attitude implanted by society.

Or maybe that was a dream.

Anyway, by the time I'd laid my head down on the pillow, my back was turned to you and Rin, the sun was already peaking for over the tops of the buildings and trees.

"No, nothing," I lied softly, badly. It was unlikely I could fool her, even if I tried. After all, it was Rin, wasn't it? She knew me as well as she knew Kakashi, if not better. I was never as infernally complex as Kakashi. Still, she didn't push the subject.

"What about you, Kakashi? Have you been sleeping well?" She sounded so casual as she asked, slowly stirring her drink, not even meeting his gaze. Meanwhile I'm gaping at Rin incredulously. She knew. She would fix it, and I'd lost my chance at . . .

At what? What exactly had I thought I could have done? I wasn't a healer; I wasn't a _thing_, not compared to Rin, or to you. I was just an Uchiha boy, only notorious because I inherited a name. Even then, even with my own family I had gain instead an imfamous reputation of being the worst Uchiha. Dead-last.

You coughed lowly, and shrugged. "Don't your parents wonder where you two are sleeping all the time?" you drawled, changing the subject messily.

Rin and I exchanged knowing looks. "My parents know." "My family doesn't care."

You grinned, you sonuvabitch. I guess you found it amusing. "Y'know, the way you talk, Obito, it's as if you wish you were like me. Living in some apartment all by yourself." The last part you let out kind of dryly, as if just mentioning it makes you feel miserable. As if you wanted me to feel miserable right alongside you.

Then I got an Obito kind of revelation. I never really thought much about how you might have feel about your life. I never thought badass Kakashi would feel lonely. Then again, if I had taken to the time actually look around at his apartment instead of at you and Rin, I might have taken in the blank state of everything, and of how utterly emotionless your home seemed. You had the sort of home that a good shinobi _should_ have, something lacking completely in personality, either because you were too busy with mission to furnish it, or because you were intent only on the work you were to do.

There were some Uchiha like that. Nothing matter but the missions. They were like zombies, almost, but they were revered.

I turned to Rin quickly, trying to get my thoughts away from the images of those sad, lifeless men and women, already having forgotten that you'd spoken to me and probably expected an answer. "Rin! I suddenly had a great idea! Let's move in with Kakashi, us three!"

The two of them both respond immediately, but in drastically different ways. "That's a great idea!" "What the _hell_? What about _asking_ me first?"

That's how it happened, that I found myself settling on your couch with the feeling that I wholly belonged there, watching you and Rin lie side by side on the cold floor beneath me, whispering cold, frozen words over at each other. I quickly rolled off the couch and onto the two of you, loving the cries out pain and outrage both of you let out. I interrupted your private moment with my loud bumbling movements, and I knew neither of you really minded.

It was just how we worked.

I never heard those sobs again. Only vaguely would I occasionally catch a flash of _something_ behind your eyes before it'd slip away and melt into something completely different. Something looking suspiciously like happiness.

Then, on one of those rare occasions when you'd put an arm over each of our shoulders as we walked somewhere, exactly where didn't matter, wrapped in layers and layers of warm clothing. We would both look past you at each other, then, and push our cold fingers into the warm pockets of your coat, and you'd _chuckle._

I'd feel that maybe . . .

Then our frozen dream melted.


End file.
